JodieBowie: F*ck it, you’re getting a Life Update…

I know a while ago I said I wasn’t going to do a life update like this again, BUT… f*ck it. It’s a new year and a lot happened, and I like doing these blogs. I think it’ll be theraputic too. If you don’t want to read it, or don’t particularly care… take yourself away from this page. If you do want to read it, skim it and want to hear a bit about me, you may stay 🙂

I didn’t really want to keep being so open with my life, so not sure if I’ll keep doing these blogs, but, I personally really enjoy reading about what people have been up to, or what their goals are and how they’ve been feeling. Sometimes it can be really relatable, or just a good read! So I thought that is what I would do here 🙂

Christmas
For the first time in many years, I actually looked forward to, enjoyed and had a good Christmas. I’m usually anxious and grumpy at Christmas, but this one was nice and relaxed and lovely. I wanted to spend it mostly with my little rat Luna, and I did. I spoiled her rotten! She was living her best life. I went to work in the morning, which is honestly the best decision I ever made. I think I’ll definitely do it next year too, for me it made the day so much better. Because I do find Christmas so difficult for all kinds of reasons, having a few hours of normality at the very start of the day just helped to take any anxieties or pressures off. I was excited to be at work, and everyone was so happy, it was lovely. I came home and opened some presents with my Mum, Luna and Alfie. We had Turkey sandwiches for lunch because Mum struggles with the cooking these days, and there’s only two of us so a full on roast didn’t make sense, so we had some sandwiches with pickles and cheeses – my idea of Christmas heaven! Picky things galore. Luna had her presents, some turkey dinner and totally wore herself out from the excitement. She spent the day with us in the living room too, being part of the family. Then I went over to my Dad’s and we exchanged some presents, watched a bit of TV together, was actually nice and he seemed to have a good day… I wish I stayed with him a bit longer if I’m honest. Then I stayed the night at Adam’s, we exchanged gifts, had a few little picky things together, I got us a yule log to share. Watched some TV, I mean my personal opinion is the Christmas TV was actually decent this year so I was going to make the most of it whilst they had some good stuff on, because usually it’s rubbish. I think we watched the Christmas Day Doctor Who! My only deal breaker for the day was that I HAD to watch Eastenders, and I of course got my wish, and what a Christmas episode that was! Banging! Although, I think they’ve ruined that storyline now and I’m disappointed it went from 100 – 0 in like 24-hours, but then it’s Eastenders isn’t it. Yeah, LOVED Christmas. If all Christmas’s could be somewhat similar, I think I’d be happy 🙂 Amazing festive period.
P.S Why do they not sell party food all year round?!!!

Nozfest
The line-up has been announced if you haven’t already seen, and it is BANGING!! Also, tickets are now 50% Sold Out.. waaaahhh!!
So we have The Treatment Headlining, and support is coming from South of Salem, Scarlet Rebels, The Karma Effect, Ashen Reach, Twister, Midnite City, The Wicked Jackals, Black Water Redemption and A’Priori. I can’t believe that I’ve made it to the 5th Anniversary! 5 whole years of NOZFEST. It’s just flown by. I’ve lost count of how many bands I have booked now, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I wanted to make sure for the anniversary show that I brought back some old favourites and of course also booked new acts as well. So I really pushed myself with this line-up and I am so glad I did because I think it’s really awesome. I also had the lovely Vi do the artwork again, she actually did the original Nozfest artwork and logo, so it is literally a full circle having her back on board, she smashed it too. If all goes as anticipated then it will be the biggest Nozfest to date. So I’m gonna work my butt off to make sure we stand a good chance of that.
When I first started Nozfest, there wasn’t as much competition, and if there was it was more spread out. These days it’s a lot harder, so to still be here is amazing and I couldn’t be prouder of how far I have come and how much I have achieved. Especially as a young woman, by myself. I put the very first one on back in 2019 when I was just 23 years old. I am now going to be 28 and I feel like people have watched me grow since that first one with Massive Wagons, Those Damn Crows, BigFoot etc. I’m so grateful for the experience, lessons, and memories that Nozfest has given me over the years and I of course wouldn’t be able to be where I am currently without any of the people who continue to buy tickets each year, spread the word to their friends and family, and to the people who’s first time it is coming along too. Eternally grateful for the opportunity.
I did a little calculation and it seems I’ve worked with 37 bands since the start of Nozfest and 52 bands in general since progressing into the music industry 10 years ago!

Grief of losing a Pet
I really wanted to talk about this, even though it is still difficult, because sometimes I feel/think that people don’t really ‘get it’. If I’m honest, it’s still really hard for me, I doubt I’ve really processed it properly. If you didn’t already know, I lost two of my little girls; two of my rats died within a week of each other. It was the toughest thing I’ve gone through involving pets. They were both so unwell and went down hill rapidly. Dotty bless her heart was suffering from a Pituatry tumour and lasted 6 weeks longer than anticipated. She wasn’t responding to medication in the end; I came home from a trip to London and she wasn’t moving, and I didn’t like how she was looking. I’ve owned rats before, and I know what death/dying/pain looks like to them… and I just knew. So I made the choice to have her PTS in the morning. It broke my heart. She became my emotional support through a really hard period of my life, and I could see that she really loved her Mummy and was just beginning to want my attention. Then poor little Mia really didn’t cope too well with losing her sister, they were very close. They were almost twins if I’m honest. She also had a Pituatry tumour but it wasn’t as far along as Dotty’s, but sadly she picked up a respitory infection and again, I came home after work and she was a shell of herself and was struggling to breathe (which happened over night, literally) and again I knew the decision I’d have to make. My heart just turned cold after that. It’s like I couldn’t take anymore pain, I didn’t have any more fight or ‘bother’ left in. And at the same time I became incredibly anxious over everything Luna did. Every noise, every little tumble, every new habit… I just kept taking her to the vet. I was going to the vets every week for about 3 months collectively. It was almost as if I just didn’t care anymore, about anything. It broke me, I had 2 girls taken away from me and all I could feel was regret and anger towards myself for not being there for them enough. I’m still so angry at what happened, and have so many regrets. I WISH so much that last year I didn’t spend all that bloody time worrying about f*cking assholes being horrible to me, and judging me for things they don’t even understand when I could’ve been with my girls. Properly. I missed out on the last year of their lives. They were SO young. Even as I am typing this I am angry and sad. I miss them so much, I just want them back. I don’t feel like myself without my girls, I lost a HUGE part of my life all at once and I think I lost a huge part of myself in the process.
Grief definitely made me care less, actually a girl on YouTube lost her snake around the same time and she said something like “I’m just struggling to care about much, because if caring alone could fix everything, it would“, and that is how I felt. I didn’t care about a lot of things because I cared so much about those girls, and trying to make them better and in the end it didn’t help. I guess a bit of that mindset still sits with me now…

Mental Health
Towards the end of last year, I did begin to feel very lost and had a lot of negative feelings towards myself, it’s actually hard to talk about if I’m honest. It was to do with dealing with grief, but also from general stuff that 2023 threw at me. I really didn’t like myself for quite a long period of time, I questioned my own feelings about everything. I was worried I always had someone looking over my shoulder judging me, forming false opinions, I still think that now, but I’m more protective of myself I suppose, I am very defensive and have a bigger guard. I’m not sure I’m open enough to talk about this topic actually. I might just leave that there…..

Feeling Different
I’m going to be 28 this year. I can’t believe where the time has gone. I feel like I’m in my 28th year, but I also feel like I was only 19 a few years ago. I want to be more independent, not in a mean way, just in a way that betters myself, I want to get to know who I am as my own individual person. I think being more independent in certain areas of life will help with it. I want to like who I am, and be happy with what I like, and be comfortable and confident. I’m growing up, and I want to be a cool 28 year old. I don’t want to always be worrying about what other people think of me, or what other people are going to say. I just want some good times and some good laughs with some good people. I want life to be chill and calm and quiet and happy. That’s the big one, I want happiness and many smiles. I don’t want to entertain any badness anymore, there’ll always be bumps in any road down any walk of life, but I much rather they be little speed bumps rather than great big mountains! So, yeah… getting to know MYSELF, that’s a big one for me right now I feel.

Learning to Drive
Aahhh, I learnt to drive! My best kept secret aha. I knew if I told anyone, it would put me off doing it or it would make me feel too pressured and I’d give up. It took me a year in the end, and that was with passing both my theory and practical first time 🙂 I’m really happy I now have a full license, but I’m mostly pleased I never have to go through that again haha. I did enjoy learning to drive, but I also hated learning to drive as well. I think I definitely would’ve gotten more flustered if I had to do a test again as well, so I’m thankful I passed the first time and it’s all in the past and I can just learn to actually drive now. It is very different being out on the road on your own, making your own decisions, planning, preparing etc. I feel like I’m quite a nervous driver, I do worry a lot, I can get quite anxious and I still can’t park. However, it is nice to just get in my car and take myself places. I’m really excited about the adventures I can have now without having to worry about “but how will I get there/home“, I’m looking forward to the day I’m not anxious about driving anymore as well! That’s going to be amazing.
Oh, I also passed my test in a MANUAL!! I was told by my first instructor that I’d never be able to drive a manual, so it’s a hugely proud moment to stick a middle finger up to that statement cos I smashed it! Would I prefer automatic? Yes and no. I don’t think I trust automatics, and I like the sense of ‘driving’ in a manual, but sometimes I do feel like my driving experience would be better/easier in an automatic. I’ll probably drive one at some point in my life, but I’m glad I passed in a manual so I get the choice and it’s actually quite satisfying and fun to drive a manual. To anyone who hasn’t learnt yet, my biggest piece of advice would be you have to be mentally ready, and also in a position to keep at it. I didn’t have any extra lessons outside my driving lesson, but I did do my full 2 hours every single week. Don’t give up, if it’s something you really want to do, don’t lose faith, and find a really good instructor as well that can help push away those little demons that creep in telling you you can’t do it.

Goals for 2024
I have some pretty positive and exciting goals for this year! I’ve already completed one of my New Year’s resolutions. Anyway, yes, I really want to get back out there this year. I’m so desperate to get out to gigs again, for about 2 years I just got into the habit of not going. I’d buy tickets, and just not go. Now I’m buying tickets and taking myself, especially now I can drive it gives me more of an incentive to not miss out. I’m so looking forward to seeing all the fantastic bands that are touring at the moment, totally spoilt for choice! I really want to invest myself into music more this year. I lost my way, I feel like I just got stuck in a place musically where I never wanted to be again, and this year I am forcing myself out of that hole and pushing myself back up to where I should be and have always wanted to be.
I also want to invest into my sense of self, I want to work on how I look and present myself because I’ve definitely lost some character and confidence along the way. I think this year is just going to be about growing and becoming a stronger person, having fun, making memories and just getting back to some routes and not caring what people want to label me as. I hope I get to see my friends more too this year, I’d love some more times with my friends, I feel like I don’t see people enough… and there’s no excuse anymore with a car.

TV & Books
I don’t really know many people with similar interests in books and TV as me, so I thought I’d pop it in because I want to gossip with someone!!
I have been loving the Harlen Coben series on Netflix lately, I have already watched them all before ‘Fool Me Once’ came out, but I binged watched them all again and aaahhh… they are just so good! I highly recommend ‘Stay Close’ and ‘The Stranger’, those are amazing and you’ll need to pull an all nighter or two.
So, the thing is… I actually like Love Island. I don’t know if I should be embarrassed? Probably, but it’s like my little hour to sit down and chill and be all cosy, and I live for it. Obviously it’s the All Star version at the moment and the drama is serving for sure! I’ve also read 6 books so far, that probably doesn’t sound like a lot to most people, but it usually takes me over a month to read one book because my attention span is so short; so to have read 6 already, I am so proud of myself. I’ve read The Governor by Vanessa Frake, The Tw*t Files by Dawn French, Karma by Boy George, This Is Going To Hurt by Adam Kay, Never Never by Colleen Hoover and Coal Black Mornings by Brett Anderson. I absolutely recommend The Governer and Karma, they are amazing biographies. The Dawn French book was pretty good if you’re in need of a little pick me up.
I’ve just really been enjoying watching Netflix, reading my book, having chill time either by myself, or with Luna and my family. It’s just been a lovely start to 2024, a nice chilled out start. I’m hoping this is a theme that continues throughout the year.

Luna
I have to talk about Luna, because she is quite literally my world. The love I have for her is unmeasurable. I adore spending time with her, she is such a cheeky monkey and constantly has her nose in every kind of mischief. She’s almost 2 years old now as well, which makes me extremely happy (considering the age her sisters passed away). She has no boundaries, she’s allowed to do what she wants, when she wants. I’m going to attempt to clicker train her, but knowing her attention span… it probably isn’t going to work haha, but it’s a bit of bonding entertainment isn’t it. We’ve always been very close, what with her being my heart rat, but I feel like we’re even closer now. She’s always looking for me, whether that’s for attention, food, cuddles, kisses, I can’t even put on underwear without her climbing up my leg… but that’s what I’ve always wanted with a pet rat, so the fact I have it makes this girl very very happy. She even knows what time bedtime is and puts herself to bed! Yeah, she’s doing really well and I just can’t wait to see her little face every day and spoil her rotten. I’m hoping she can be part of my Birthday celebrations somehow – she loves people, so it would be nice for her to meet some more humans in her lifetime.

Music
Final point! I know I’ve already brought up that I want to spend more time going to gigs and investing in music, but I truly mean it. I feel like I used to have such an amazing connection and relationship with the bands I worked with and I feel like I’ve lost that a lot over the last 2 years, and it’s quite sad that that dynamic has changed. My whole life used to be music, and I’d love to get back to that. I think growing up also doesn’t help as your priorities do change and that can’t be helped, but I want to get back to that good place I used to be where music was concerned. No more messing about and taking a back step and going back down paths that I’ve already walked… onwards and upwards.
I’m back listening to the bands I truly love and admire, and I’m desperate to discover more bands! I’m totally out of the loop when it comes to new bands, so feel free to turn my head… I want my ears to be drawn to something new.
I’m also getting back into singing again. I hold my hands up and I confess I am a bedroom singer and I am more than happy to stay doing that forever… I have so much fun doing it, I don’t care what it sounds like to others because I’m in my own little bubble with my own microphone and my own little system and I can crack on and enjoy myself. I used to sing all the time, then I just stopped. Well not anymore. Why shouldn’t I do something I enjoy? I adore getting my Mick Jagger on and it’s the best way to pass the time and beat the boredom!

Well, I did not find writing this therapeutic at all. But I hope this has been somewhat enlightening, informative… happy in places. Still, I’m glad I shared because it just shows what a roller coaster life can be, and you never know what someone is dealing with in their life. Be kind to others! It’s literally free and has more of an impact on someone’s life than being an arse. Peace out!

You can find me on social media which is linked below
Instagram: JodieBowie
Instagram: Nozfest
Facebook: JodieBowie
Facebook: Nozfest
Website: www.nozfest.org
Youtube: JodieBowie

See you on the next one

Jodie x ❤ x

JodieBowie : Bands and Moods!

I don’t know about ya’ll but I listen to certain bands/songs depending on what mood I’m in. I thought this might be an interesting topic, and maybe you’ll discover some new music! That is of course always my aim. Music is a powerful thing, it definitely is in my life anyway. 

BAD ASS
When I wanna feel like an absolute bad ass, that I can achieve anything in this world and that I am seriously feckin’ cool – I reach out for Western Sand, Mason Hill, Kris Barras, Kid Rock; bands with really epic riffs and guitar solos. The sort of bands you just HAVE to head bang to and unleash your inner rock chick. I’m sure everyone has that band that brings them out of their shell. I head-bang so hard to those bands, that I get really bad neck-ache, and do the same thing all over again the next day!

REBELLING
I’ve only really just noticed this, which is mostly what has inspired this blog. Whenever I am meeting up with my Mum’s side of the family, I ALWAYS start listening to Steel Panther. I have a feeling it’s because of the whole image that they create, they are heavily about sex, rude language, they look like bad influences, they act like bad influences, they sing about drugs… they are the sort of band that you worry about your innocent daughter going to see. With that side of the family, I have always felt like the black sheep. I dress very different, my life-style is not accepted, I’m sort of ‘expected’ to be permanently drunk (you know, like us rockers always are *rolls eyes*) – and Steel Panther sort of give me this confidence to be “fuck you, this is me, I don’t care if you don’t like it” attitude, otherwise I’d probably just sit there and cry around them. When I would stay at my Nans I’d always take a photo of Steel Panther with me, and it would calm me down. In a way, I guess bands feel more like family to me…. that’s how powerful music really is! I feel like a lot of us ‘rejects’ rely on music and bands to make us feel human again.

LONG JOURNEYS
For those long journeys, I really like just listening to one band with lots and lots of songs. The sort of bands where you can look out the window, watch the world pass by and lose yourself in your imagination. Massive Wagons and Beth Blade and The Beautiful Disasters are two bands I love listening to on long journeys. I recently played some Beth Blade whilst on the way to visit my Nan in Ascot with my Dad, and we found a song for pretty much every mood so we were well happy! If you can get my Dad dancing whilst driving, or singing a-long… TRUST ME, you’re a bloody good band haha.
I often stick Massive Wagons on when I’m going for a walk, or The Treatment and Those Damn Crows.. they are a great band to listen to whilst on the way to work; they give me the “you can do it” attitude.

DRUNK
I listen to all kinds of music and bands when I’m hammered. It’s usually a variety of songs rather than bands in all honesty. It’s usually all those cheesy classics that you HAVE to dance to. For example :
Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll, Footloose, Proud Mary, Play That Funky Music, Welcome To The Jungle, Place Your Hands, Here I Go Again, Green Onions, Burning Love, Edge of Seventeen, Hey Baby, Superstition, Don’t Feel Like Dancing, Morning Glory……. you get the idea.
I am a huge dancer! If there’s a song I like being played anywhere… I WILL dance to it… sober, drunk, at home or in public. These are just some of the best tunes to cover the entire dance floor with… and believe me I do.
If I’m having a proper rocking out session, I always start with “Stop, Stop!” they are the best band to get a party started with, I work my way through all 3 albums before moving on to the cheesy classics 😛
*Fun Fact : I’ve been sober for 4 months now, but you still can’t beat these tunes!

Chris Payn

RELAXED
If you follow me on Instagram, you probably will have seen that I am mostly at a Chris Payn gig somewhere. Let’s hope he don’t read this or it’ll probably weird him out hahaha.
I usually go to his shows rather spontaneously, but it’s usually when I need to just sit and zone out for a good while. I always come home feeling refreshed, and reminded why I do what I do and I get so many new ideas – I guess I get inspired. I’ve taken a few friends to see him, and honestly, I think it’s better than going to see a full rock band because you can sit and listen, have a drink, have a chat, have a dance, sing-a-long, and the atmosphere is so much calmer than a bunch of people jumping up and down, pushing people out the way, screaming in your ear…. maybe I’m just getting old!!!
I also listen to a lot of Paul Weller when I feel like I need a breath of fresh air. His voice is so smooth and soothing, it just melts all my worries away. He is so yummy to look at as well, I can’t help but just fade away thinking about how incredibly talented he is. Weller is for sure my favourite musician hands down ❤

SAD
I’m not entirely sure what I reach out for when I’m down. I mean, I guess there are specific song such as “Poster Girl for Pain” or “Angel with a Dirty Face” by Beth Blade… or most of the songs by The Wilderpeople. I think Suede is a band I reach out for when I am really low. They’ve always been there to catch me when life is not good. Songs that genuinely make me cry are “Wild Ones” and “Stay Together”; I mean proper tears as well. Especially Wild Ones, that is an absolutely beautiful song, musically, vocally, lyrically.. man, makes me well up just thinking about it.

EXCITED
If I feel super excited about something, or I feel like I’m really achieving something, I often play The Dead Daisies. I think it’s because in my little head and heart, that is the direction I want to go. I want to be working with bands like them, and putting on the shows they do etc. That would be absolutely fantastic in my head. I absolutely love John Corabi, and I guess he sort of helps the fire in my belly to keep burning – what with his amazing stage presence and incredible vocals… can’t really beat that ultimate rockstar attitude can you. Makes my heart beat faster and makes me want to keep aiming for my dreams!!

SEXY
Come on, we all have certain songs that turn us into a sex goddess! Mine just happens to be Tyler Bryant and The Shakedown.
If I’m needing an extra alter-ego boost… the Rocky Horror soundtrack never fails to make me feel my absolute unbreakable best!!
If I’m still awake in the early hours of the morning, I am probably dressed up as Dr.Frank ‘n’ Furter strutting my stuff or in my underwear pretending I’m some sort of Shania Twain, with really sexy long hair and a much more attractive face haha.

SINGING
Most of you probably don’t know, but I absolutely love singing. I can’t say I’m very good at it, but I do get great enjoyment out of it. I usually warm up with Mason Hill, I always get impressed when I can get through a Mason Hill song… they also make me feel like a bad ass rock star, so it’s always good to get the confidence and energy going. I usually delve into some Marco Mendoza, his songs are great to sing-a-long to, I usually go for “You Got Me”, “I Want You”, “Live For Tomorrow” and “Lettin’ Go”. Of course I do the standard bit of Bowie, The Stones, Queen, Guns n Roses – then if I want to prove to myself I genuinely have some talent, I move on to the T.Rex, Gretchen Wilson, McFly, Paul Weller … I wish I could say I can do a good Quatro, but that would be fibbing, I can’t even attempt the Suzi!

 

I hope this has been a some what entertaining/interesting blog! I thought I’d change things up a bit and this idea popped into my head. Please also check me out on social media to keep updated :
INSTAGRAM – JodieBowie
FACEBOOK – JodieBowie
You can also grab tickets for my next Rock Night HERE – featuring 27 Days, Beth Blade & Western Sand.

Speak soon ❤

Jodie x ❤ x

My 2016 – With Diary Entries

Oi, Oi!! We’re back at New Year! How fast did 2016 go man?! and how shite was it?! haha. Again, this year I am going to basically write up my 2016 and also include my Diary entries! Seemed to work well last year, so let’s give it a go again. 

My completed New Year’s Resolutions are: …oh, well I didn’t actually complete any at all this year…… moving swiftly on………….

JANUARY: 
Turns out I celebrated New Year with Jack Davies, we drank lot’s of Red Wine and watches the Jools Holland show… my darling Paul Weller was performing, so had to catch that!
Me and Dad did our New Yearly trip to Bournemouth – I go every year at this time, just to get my everyday make up stuff in the sales 😉 Saw a little bit of the lovely Callum Woodford on the Christmas stage. I also took my Dad to Sprinkles, and made him walk there… he nearly died! Haha!
On the 3rd January I wrote that I am fed up of being bored and lonely and said “I want to do everything I possibly can! If I get asked on holiday, I’ll go. If I’m asked on a date I’ll go on it. I need to explore more and become more me!” << I can confirm, I DID do all this, this year 😀
This month was also the start of where I decided I just can’t be friends with certain people, even if I have known them since school. No one needs selfish people in their lives.
I joined the Management Committee at the New Milton Memorial Centre! Woo! They trust me with important stuff!!
This part if rather freaky… 10th Jan “makes you think doesn’t it. When someone like Lemmy dies. Look at what we have lost – this world –  us muso’s – we need people like Lemmy. Gosh it’s just so so sad” —- 11th Jan “I should not have to be writing this at all – it is more than a devastating shock. David Bowie has died at the age of 69 after battling cancer for 18 months”. It upsets me still, even reading that back! I wrote quite a few pages on the legend. I can remember that day like it was yesterday, I spent the whole day crying uncontrollably in sheer disbelief. I have so many memories related to Bowie from singing his songs, singing hero’s with my Dad, a ‘boyfriend’ of mine gave me a cuddle in his car while we watched ‘Dancing in the Street’, my teachers at school; one was a HUGE Bowie fan etc etc… it was like losing a best friend.
The very next day I got the Aladdinsane lightning bolt tattooed on my right rib cage.
Then a few days after that my lovely Sophie came over and we made Bowie biscuits – had to have the bestie over to help with the mourning process.
Then something even worse happened the day after that!! I found out the guy I was whole-heartedly in love with was seeing someone else. I drank a bottle of prosecco and went straight to Sophie’s in a big snotty mess. In the space of 7 days I lost two of the most special people in my life, and I can clearly state that this was the start of my depression and break down.
On a better note, the awesome band Voodoo Vegas invited me to their Mr.Kyps show with The Guns ‘n’ Roses Experience – I got on the guestlist with my Dad! Was well chuffed! I love their music!

FEBRUARY:
I got a job at a cafe in Brockenhurst.
13th February was the night of my 3rd Rock Night!!! I had The Smokin’ Prophets, Daisy Chains, Pirates of Panama and The Black Bullets on the line up. It wasn’t our best evening admittedly, but the bands were spot on, I can’t fault their performances at all. I love putting on my Rock Nights and finding new awesome local bands, it’s exciting and different for the area I live in. Try my best even if sometimes it doesn’t quite work. Mattington came down from Dorchester and brought Luke along, was nice to have some friendly support. Of course Soph was there… she comes to all my Rock Nights!! I try my hardest to make friends with the bands so that they feel as if they are at home. I like to make sure they are okay and relaxed/comfortable and have a really good night. If they don’t I feel kinda bad personally, like it’s my fault. Lot’s of bands that play look for me in the crowd and ask if they can play a few more songs, or they give me shout out etc. It’s really sweet, I like having that sort of bond with bands, I think it makes us a little different and hopefully a more relaxed environment to watch a gig in.
The day after (Valentines Day) I went to see The Bowie Experience at Mr.Kyps with Dad to pay my respects and sort of ‘let go’. Was very emotional!
I went to see the Rocky Horror Show at the Mayflower Southampton with Dad. We went for a Sprinkles before hand, and I had a slight wardrobe malfunction in the toilets – I was dressed as a transvestite you see!!
Now, this is where things start changing! This is an interesting piece of documentation.
27th Feb “went to see Saints of Sin at the Winchester last night with Luke, Val and Hayley. They were supporting a band from Barcelona called ‘Stop! Stop!’. That NIGHT was a turning point in my life… what followed was a meltdown, but significance is the fact… I saw Stop Stop. The only reason I was at that gig, was because I was bored and still not over my crappy ‘boyfriend’. I was changing jobs, struggling with home life, felt I had no friends… I was really struggling with just life, so that spontaneous night out, you’ll see later on in the blog… actually changed my life.

MARCH:
2nd March “I made an emergency doctors appointment last night, as my suicide attempt didn’t work. I got scared. Had a massive meltdown this morning – now I’m on Fluoxetine.” I tried strangling myself. I had my first day at my new job and I HATED IT. I was feeling low enough as it was with all the other crap in my life that had been going on since Nov ’16, then i just had bad news after bad news, then I was treated like shit in this new job and it got too much. The only thing I clearly remember from that day was hearing “join the party, come out of your shell“, and that was what got me through that day… even in the ‘end’. The significance is ^^ they are Stop, Stop lyrics. 4 days later… as if they were trying to tell me something.
10th March “Stop Stop! are also my favourite band! I’m really adoring them right now. I’ve found them on Spotify and have listened to all their songs 🙂 my favourite is ‘With You’. I also got to go back the Memorial Centre and they gave me more work to do… thank god! No more kitchen for me.
Saw Saints of Sin play at the Rydal! My Dad came to this one, and was drunk before hand which was quite a laugh – he didn’t have his grumpy pants on for once.
19th March “today has literally been the best day ever! the frontman of my favourite band ‘Stop Stop!’ added me on Facebook and messaged me! – like oh my days, I must be dreaming! I feel so happy I could burst like a pimple, or take off from the ground and fly! I’m appreciated/valued by someone who is pretty much saving my life everyday! How incredible is that? A piece of my poorly heart has been fixed! ❤ “. Jacob was my idol at this point in time, still is really. He doesn’t know this, but that messaged he sent me… I was literally in tears for the rest of the night, but tears of happiness. I was so so happy!! Was the first bit of happiness I had felt in a long time.
29th March – My fucking 20th Birthday bitches! I went to Southampton with Sophie, and we met up with Jayke, had a mooch around and had a Sprinkles! Nice a chilled out day.

APRIL:
The month of Rock Night 4! – which was also my 20th Bday Party (kinda). We had a hiccup with the sound and lighting – I some how managed to pull it out the bag last min, the last second on the deadline as well! Some help from Josh Rose and others of course.
9th April was the big day and it went “exceptionally well”. Only Sophie, Mattington and Tyler turned up for my bday but the bands and atmosphere made up for it by billions. The audience was a lot bigger… our biggest audience for a rock night so far. My Mum actually came to this night and volunteered to help out on Front of House. Oh the line up was, Lip Service, Our Propaganda, Freeway Mad and Saints of Sin. Freeway Mad were AMAZING!! I wrote down “I got him mango and strawberry tea, cos he looked like that kinda guy”, that guy is the dude that is Jack Denton! I also had a pretty great head-banging session with George Twydell – what a lovely bunch of dudes I got for my birthday, awesome musicians and really genuine people. Really made the night brilliant. Freeway Mad also got me up on stage to sing Happy Birthday at me, and Saints of Sin dedicated ‘Devil you need’ to me. For a rock night, the evening was so relaxed!
Next up was Mattington’s 20th!!! Me and Luke went up to stay with him. Me and Mat didn’t sleep AT ALL due to Luke’s impressing snoring skills, plus we were sleeping the wrong sides of the air bed…. what a night that one was!! I added at the end of that diary entry “super proud of myself – thanks to my gorgeous ‘Stop, Stop!’ X” <<< No idea!! but I think it was cos I got my confidence back…… like I actually left the house and socialised with strangers.
20th April – Met up with Mr.Jayden! Went to get my industrial/scaffold piercing done with Dan. Woo! I got a piercing I’ve wanted for years………… bloody bitch to heal!
29th April, Western Sand were playing at the Rydal. I went with my Dad… wasn’t in the best of moods, but I do like Western Sand so wanted to see them. Then who bloody walks in… oh yes, that crappy ‘boyfriend’!!! I didn’t know whether to hug him or knock him out. He never comes to New Milton, even when asked, let alone on his own accord. Dad sort of gave us space, but kept an eye on me, he tapped me on the shoulder and said “I’m over there if anything goes bad okay?! I’m keeping an eye on him”. Ended up getting a lift home from him (not Dad), where he fell asleep on me -_-

MAY:
5th May “I have some exciting news! I’ve booked my favourite band ‘Stop,Stop!’ and Saints of Sin for my 21st Birthday!! Would make my life having ‘Stop Stop’ play my 21st!!” << lucky girl ain’t I – I am so so so excited for this, and have been planning everything since that day so it’s gonna be big!!
I went out to the beach with the crappy ‘boyfriend’. Was a nice day, so Highcliffe beach seemed app-ted for some reminiscing.
I had a spontaneous weekend on the 15th! Woo! i met up with Mica on the Saturday, we went to Bournemouth, then I headed to Mattington’s in Dorchester for a sleepover before going back home in the morning, then to Christchurch to hang out with the crappy ‘boyfriend’, then back home to hang out with Sophie! WOO!
Later on in May, Mattington visited Boscombe/Bournemouth for the day, where we chilled in a hairdressers and I put Pirates of Panama on the TV.
28th May – ALADDINSANE! Was my first time working with a Tribute Band. Was so much fun, and I finally got to meet Paul Henderson, who I’ve known since I was about 15. They invited me on stage to dance to ‘Rebel Rebel’ at the end.

JUNE:
This month is a big one – so go get a cup of tea and a biscuit!
1st June me and Dad went up to Chelsea to visit the Rolling Stones Exhibitionism at the Saatchi Gallery. WAS INCREDIBLE!! I love the Rolling Stones more than life – they are my life – my life is dedicated to them ❤ to go and see a gallery filled with history, clothes… you name it – I was like a kid in a candy store. Was lovely to go with Dad, we both see the Stones in different ways. I feel I know them personally and know a lot about the production etc, where as Dad is the instrument guy, so we learnt from each other. Was so cool to remix some of their tunes too.
A week later I got to meet up with the crappy ‘boyfriend’ in Bournemouth.
12th June – I had a bit of a relapse with my mental health. “I wanted to die more than anything and I had to fight myself to keep myself alive – that is so fucking exhausting!”. It is really hard work fighting yourself on a life threatening situation… it’s one of the hardest things I have to do.
Stop Stop’s frontman Jacob also lend-ed me the hand of support “then you have another reason to keep going, my sweaty smelly hug after a gig”.
I later in the month got my hair dyed red and black, to kind of match the Stop Stop frontman (Jacob) – I’ve always wanted that, but that was the extra push I needed to go for it. I also decided I wanted to start travelling places… starting small, then building up to big things!
Saints of Sin played an acoustic set as part of Bournemouth’s food festival, I went with Mica!
Oh oh… We left the EU – well done England (I voted remain btw)!!
I got my 4th tattoo!!… because…………………….. 24th June, Stop Stop were back at the Winchester in Bournemouth and I got Jacob to sign the band name on my arm, so I could get it tattooed the next day ❤
That night I somehow managed to get stalked by an American on my way up to meet Sophie in Boscombe, before going to the show – this always happens to me on trains. I was soo fucking nervous to meet Jacob in person – the dude I had been looking up to as an idol of mine through a really difficult part of my life… I was shitting myself I wont lie. I was terrified he wouldn’t like me, or wouldn’t notice/talk to me… and I was just scared; but when he saw me he gave me the biggest hug and kiss ever and I calmed down a bit… whenever he saw me he gave me a hug which was so comforting, and he kept asking if I was okay which was sweet. I also met Mr.Dee Dee at this gig – legend!!! and Jon whom i am now great pals with. Jacob also made me promise that I would stay strong for him — well hopefully I am keeping that promise. Getting home was a bit of a disaster – ended up having to hang out with the band for a few hours afterwards as Val’s car got a puncture – oh this mischief we get up to us girls!! “honestly 3 of the most amazing blokes I have ever met. This could be the start of some awesome experiences” << too damn right Jodie!

JULY:
So, I’ve written for the first of July, Saints of Sin where playing the Christchurch Music Festival. I went with Val and Hayley of course, and she brought her son along, which I have written down as it being his first gig? Pretty awesome if so!
On the 9th July it was the day of the Southampton Tattoo Festival. I went with Dad on the Harley – Saints of Sin, Smokin’ Prophets (Now The Liabilities) and Our Propaganda were playing… so that plus tattoos was a big reason to go. Deffo’s recommend to everyone.. if it’s on next year… frickin’ go!! It’s awesome!!
Few weeks later I got to see the ‘boyfriend’ again, I’ve written that was had a ‘discussion’ which I thought was more of an argument… sounds about right! Apart from that, we had a real great night apparently haha… and we talked about ‘Stop Stop’ a lot.
A few days later, I got to practice some of my journalism skills and ended up getting asked out by a wrestler…………….. I didn’t go for it. I’m more of a rocker than wrestler kinda girl. Sorry fellas.
Oh.. apparently I saw Saints of Sin TWICE in one week! Once at Poole Quay and the other time at the Milford Music Festival. I’ve written “it’s gotten to the point them so much they have become so predictable BUT the atmosphere can really change how much I enjoy the show” << Still true. oh P.S “Me and Mat are planning our Cheltenham trip”.
I went to see my Nan (Gibson) in Didcot and she took us to The Boar’s Head in Ardington? Appt she seemed more accepting of me, but is still disappointed in my career choice. On a better note though I wrote “everything is booked for Cheltenham on the 27th Aug”.
Then I took my little Sophie to see Saints of Sin and Our Propaganda at The Talking Heads (co-incidentally, I think this was where she met her boyfriend… you’re welcome Soph!). Aah yes, that evening I met a ‘Stop Stop’ fan who goes by the name of Little Lainey aka Elaine! and she invited me to her bday on the 9th Dec.
31st July —— one year since I met the prick 😉

AUGUST:
1st Aug – My old primary school buddy David came to visit for the day. It was crappy weather but I took him to a cafe in Barton which was pretty nice. I also booked the legendary Stephen Loader to do the sound for my birthday concert – WOO!!
Ah yes, 2nd Aug, a year since our first date… which led no where haha! I still wanted to meet on the exact date though… you know… cos I’m a girl, and I’m cheesy like that. We went and played ‘rock ‘n’ roll bingo’, we lost both times. Oh I wrote he was actually nice to me – get in there!!!!
It was off the the Rydal to see Saints of Sin with Val and Hayley again. We arrived 2 hours early – FUCK YEA! Oh yea, I ended up having to count sexual positions. That was interesting. The next day, I had a spontaneous sleepover at little Sophie’s house.
On a Tuesday evening… I got absolutely hammered on too much wine at work after our AGM meeting.
On the 23rd I took little Sophie to see The Rocky Horror show at the Pavillion in Bournemouth. She actually really enjoyed it! I thought she would 😉 I slept over, and ended up waking up at 4am as some pillock was shouting “JOHNNY” for an hour down the street -_-
25th I was back seeing the Rocky Horror show with Steve Loader – LEGEND.
Okay now be prepared…. 27th Aug – Me and Mattington travelled to Cheltenham to see my amazing Stop Stop boys. It took us 5 hours, but we were buzzing for it. It’s the best thing I think I have ever done actually?! The boys were on fire, the atmosphere was amazing, just being away from home felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. It was absolutely fantastic! I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.

SEPTEMBER:
2nd Sept and I was off to see Stop Stop again. This time at the Lounge in Holloway, London. I went with the lovely Jon – who got lost a lot trying to pick me up and drop me home. Adds the fun bud! I bought myself some black bungaree’s to look like Jacob… went down pretty well 😉
Me and Mica hanged out on the 13th – I wrote “can feel my depression slowly seeping back in”.
Ah yes, I received the best birthday present in the world. I’m getting the venue for free, for all the hard work I’ve put in 😀
Had a spontaneous trip to Southampton to catch up with Jayke. Was nice to just wonder round and chill really.
I took my Dad to see ‘Havana Moon’ at the ABC in Bournemouth. He gets taken to see much Stone stuff haha. For that concert (Cuba) they had an audience of 1.2 million…. just let you take that one in……………. and breeeeaathheeee…..

OCTOBER: 
1st Oct was Stop Stop’s album launch for their Barceloningham album at the Slade Rooms in Wolverhampton. Was epic! Booked myself a hotel with Little Lainey and her partner Mark; we travelled up to Birmingham with Nina. Met so many awesome people, as well as getting to see lots of people I already knew and were friends with. Such a relaxing atmosphere for the kind of music they play.
When I came back I went for breakfast with Val & then I got a cold 😦 so I was ill for a week or so.
Western Sand played the Rydal, which I dragged my Dad along to.
I went out with the ‘boyfriend’ and we played a pub-quiz, which we absolutely sucked at! I can’t even make it up. Damn, we were bad! But it was pretty funny haha.
The next day I went to see the legendary Arrows frontman Mr.Alan Merrill! I have known Alan since I was around 14 – so a long time! He actually dragged me up on stage to sing ‘I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll’ with him which was absolutely awesome! Thank you so much Alan!
Then two days later I was doing the same with Rollin’ Stoned at Mr.Kyps. I sang ‘Loving Cup’ a personal fave! Oh my god, that was literally my childhood dream, and it came true… Thank you so much Mick Jaguar for asking me up there!
A week later it was little Sophie’s turn to rock Mr.Kyps as she joined Saints of Sin! woo!!
And to finish of the month, Our Propaganda were at the Rydal and Val and Steve came along. Was a real lovely evening as well. The guys did an amazing cover of ‘Gimme Shelter’ and ‘Moonage Daydream’, yes mate!

NOVEMBER: 
I treated myself to a new lipstick… a Jeffree Star lipstick to be exact – this sparked an on growing obsession. Goodbye money.
I dressed up as Jacob from Stop Stop for Halloween, woo baby!
Donald Trump became elected president of the United States of America…………ooookaaaaayyy then…………….
I got a new tattoo – Suede lyrics, down my spine. Inspired by one of their songs.
On the 18th I went up to London with a group of people to help film a video for Saints of Sin. There was lots and lots of jumping involved, and I definitely found new muscles in my legs that I didn’t know existed!
The next day I went to see the Sinners at Kyps again as they were supporting the Four Fighters. Was a pretty great evening. Thanks to the legendary Mr.Loader for the sound, for taking me there & for letting me borrow your coat.

DECEMBER:
I was put in charge of the Christmas decorations at the hall this year! That was quite fun actually, 4 tree’s to decorate…. can’t say I’m as excited to take them down.
I also went with my lovely friend Val to get her first ever tattoo done. Of course the lovely Craig at Black Heart – she already wants more!!
9th Dec was the lovely Little Lainey’s Birthday party in Gosport with two awesome Spanish bands, Jolly Joker & Stop Stop. What a legend Lainey is, how she does it I don’t know, but she is one very epic little lady. Was lovely to catch up with my Stop Stop boys also, even though I was already intoxicated with vodka before I even got there 😉
The day after (10th) I headed to Swindon to see both bands again, with the added bonus of Saints of Sin. I stayed in Salisbury with Sarah and James after. Was great to catch up with the Birmingham mofos. I had quite a bit of an anxiety attack whilst in Swindon, so missed Stop Stop’s set unfortunately.
The 16th was the lovely Natalie’s 30th Bday party. She had Saints of Sin play of course. Was nice to meet new people such as Tara 🙂 I wrote “I love how the sinners know deeply that Stop Stop are my fave band in the world, but they don’t make snide comments about it or put any hate or jealousy towards me for it” << True! Some bands do get really touchy if they see I’m at more of other bands gigs, I mean I don’t DO favouritism… only in the Stop Stop case, and it’s not to see other bands be like “doesn’t matter who she likes…”, it’s really off putting when you feel like you have to choose!
23rd, had a bit of a Dad and daughter day in Southampton, we went to Sprinkles and GBK’s, before seeing Saints of Sin at their Christmas party at the Joiners. Apologies for my very anti-social Dad… he was soo tired!
24th Christmas Eve – Rick Parfitt of Statues Quo sadly passed away. I did cry a little when I heard the news actually. He was the first rockstar I wanted to marry. Also Status Quo were the first band I ever saw live (write that down… might be useful one day 😉 ).
Christmas Day – George Michael of Wham! sadly passed away. Damn 2016. Christmas was actually kinda nice these year, so I can’t complain. Got some Iron Fist boots & Jeffree Star lipsticks from santa.
Boxing day was spent with family in Farnham. Yes, family!! I was re-invited, and I’m actually glad now as I have re-kindled a small portion of my family back, so I’m not so alone anymore. You see, my family don’t really like me, and I was told that I’d find it very tense with some of the girl cousins… I don’t know why?!! They didn’t even bother speaking to me though, so that’s alright. I drank far too much wine and blacked out on the way home, laid on my bed for 4 hours being throwing up….. FUUUCK YEA! The family I’ve rebonded with turn out to be super awesome, and I’m gonna try and see more of them, hopefully before my party would be nice. Be good to show them round Bournemouth.
28th I wrote that my ‘Stop Stop’ hoodie arrived – mate, best hoodie ever! It’s so warm and so comfy…… go get one!

I think that’s about all folks!

BRING ON 2017!!!!!

Jodie ❤