How long has it been since an update? No idea! But quite a bit has actually happened. I really love writing these blogs 🙂 So without further a do, let’s update you all on the life of Jodie shall we….
I am writing a mental health series, I haven’t really updated it just yet so I guess this can be that update. I received my assessment back from Waterford House and I show no signs of any mental health disorders, however I am on the CBT silvercloud programme and waiting for me face to face therapy; I have to say I am loving CBT! It is a real life changer, if you are ever offered the opportunity to try it, please take it.
I feel like my mental health has improved a lot – I am lot more confident and happy in myself. I meditate before bed, and I feel that practicing mindfulness has helped a lot. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy teaches you a lot about thoughts, feelings and behaviours and how each effects the other, and it gives you the skills to stop yourself being negative towards yourself and others. I’m really looking forward to being let out into the real world and putting my new skills into practice.
I have enjoyed having CBT so much, that I been doing a lot of thinking, and I want to be able to help others through CBT too. I’m currently thinking of doing an online course in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and also how to help others etc. I’m currently researching the best sites to go with, because I want it to be legit. I don’t want to do a cheap course and get a certificate that means absolutely nothing. I want to spend the extra money, and finish with something that I can put on my CV and it will actually mean something! Online courses is good for me as well, because I can do it in my own time, there is no deadline you have to be finished by – and I really enjoy learning about things by myself. I’m better at studying when it is something I’m genuinely interested in and don’t have a short time scale to complete something in. It’s just finding a place where I’ll actually be accredited at the end.
Sadly, my beautifully BillyBobs passed away on the 15th May. It absolutely broke my heart. I am so proud of how much of a little fighter he was. We first found his tumour at the beginning of February, so he did really well to live such a good and healthy life right up until his last day. I made the decision to have him put to sleep as his breathing just went within a matter of hours – you genuinely know they are dying when it gets to that point, so it was the right decision. I’m still going through a bit of grief with it all, I miss him so much; it sounds daft to say but he really was my best friend. He was there for me through an awful lot of heartbreak, and he’d always be waiting for me to come home or to wake up – the bond we had was just so magical, and it is very sad he is no longer here.
I’ve also decided I don’t want anymore rats. I used to want females, but the way rats die is just so painful and upsetting, I really don’t want to have to go through that again. However, I do want ferrets in the future ❤
I still have my little TedBear, and I know it is considered cruel to have 1 rat, but I don’t want another and he is pretty anti-social, so it’s not really worth risking. He’s pretty content by himself and interacting with me when he feels like it.
Nozfest and Nozlite have obviously had to be postponed to 2021 – I’m pretty happy with this decision as I was in such a bad place mentally I just wasn’t focusing on those events anyway, so they probably would’ve flopped this year. I’ve been given a whole year to actually make these gigs go the way they should do, and put a lot more love and effort into them. I’ll honestly admit, I did nothing at all in terms of planning for Nozfest or Nozlite. All I did was book the dates and the bands and that was it. I did literally nothing else, and I’m pretty sure I would’ve still done nothing until a week before they happened and all hell would’ve broke lose. I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be working on such big projects. I had no interest at all in them. After the first Nozfest I felt like I had no purpose in life anymore, and I spent months beating myself up inside, bringing myself down, overthinking everything, I sent myself into a cycle of depression and anxiety that ruined my creativity, friendships and relationship. After Nozfest ended, it felt like I lost a life-long friend and I didn’t know what to do with myself, my whole world changed over night. It is scary! I am in a much better place now, I am more driven and focused again and I’m not scared anymore. I was so scared Nozfest 2020 was going to be a fail that I didn’t even try to make it work out. Luckily I’ve still got the same line-up but I’ve added Western Sand. It now takes place Saturday 14th August 2021 for £22!!
For me, this Lockdown has sort of been a blessing in disguise for me. I genuinely needed a break from life to sort things out and get myself back on the right path, and lockdown happened at just the right time.
I’ve been able to really improve on my mental health, have a lot of time to myself, and decide what I want to do with my life in terms of being young.
I have no idea of a life plan – I know I’d like a house, a husband, a kid blah blah at some point in my life, and hopefully that will happen. For right now, I have more opportunities to do things I want to do (as I have a whole year free of gigging) – I want to travel to places, in the UK and abroad. I want to meet new people, I want to experience life! I have quite a few ideas on where I’d like to go on holiday, and I’m going to make sure they happen and don’t just stay in my bucket list. I used to love road-tripping when I was 21, and there is no reason at all why I can’t still just leave and do things – I have no responsibilities now. I don’t have pets, I don’t have Nozfest to save for… I have time and money to experience life, even if I don’t start doing all these things until next year, I still have all this time to save and plan and it’s exciting!
I recently purchased a pair of magnetic eyelashes, and they’ve changed my life! I’d wear strip lashes a lot, because I just thought I looked weird without long lashes, but I suck at applying them. I finally invested in magnetic lashes, and now I feel like I don’t need makeup! All I need to do, is pop on a pair of lashes and a little lip gloss and I’m good to go – and I am loving it ❤ I don’t really like wearing a full face of makeup in hot weather anyway, it’s just too hot to be wearing that amount of makeup, and this year I have really grown to love my freckles; they are super cute and it’s a shame to hide them. So all I do now is either use moisturiser or a setting spray all over the face, contour my face, pop on a lash, highlight and then apply a nude lippy and gloss – been getting a lot of compliments since I started being more natural too.
I’ve been going a little crazy over the clothing sales on Boohoo too. I’ve bought myself jeans, crop tops, tops that normal people would wear… I did also splurge out on a lot of leopard print but that don’t count 😉 I just got a little bored of how I’ve been dressing the exact same since I was 20 years old. Suddenly I’m braless, wearing thongs, and don’t feel ashamed about baring my midriff. I am finally embracing ME! ❤
I’ve been listening to a lot of music from my childhood recently. I can’t say I was getting ‘bored’ for rock and metal music, but I wasn’t getting as much enjoyment, I needed something a bit refreshing.
When I was a kid, I used to listen to a lot of Michael Jackson – and I’ve really enjoyed going back to that period of life. A lot of happy memories came back to light, and Jackson music just goes with Summer Sun really doesn’t it?! I also bought his book ‘Moon Walk’ and read it in 5 days flat! (let’s not go into the controversy – each to their own). I also started listening to Prince, and not just the one or two songs everyone knows. He is growing on me a lot. And of course I had to go right back to my early years, I’ve been listening to a lot of Rolling Stones – they are still the best band in the world for me; along with The Who, Status Quo. Oh I’ve just been having a whale of a time with this ‘new’ music ❤
Instead of making ‘new’ friends, I decided to make ‘old’ friends. Some friendships are worth keeping, and worth working on. I find it hard to make new friends in general; but I have a lot of pals I went to school with or have known for many years whom I don’t really see or speak to – and since we were given all of this free time, I made new friends with people I already knew 🙂 I’m really happy about that, and I’m super excited to be able to see them all in person and hopefully maintain lifelong friendships with them all.
I think that is all I have to update you guys on! I hope you have enjoyed this blog, hopefully my new love of life has been nice for some of you to read about. I hope everyone has been staying safe, or staying alert… which ever advice you’ve been following. Soon enough I’m sure all of this will be ‘over’. Let’s make sure we keep up the positivity and love for ourselves and each other ❤
Please feel free to check out my social media platforms if you’re interested in following my day to day life, and want instant updates on all things Nozfest:
INSTAGRAM : JodieBowie
INSTAGRAM : Nozfest
FACEBOOK : JodieBowie
FACEBOOK : Nozfest
FB GROUP : Nozfest
WEBSITE : www.nozfest.org
YOUTUBE : JodieBowie
Stay upbeat dudes!
Jodie x ❤ x